I don’t complain about how hot it gets. Yes, it’s been a heatwave for the last forever, with the temperatures in the high 30s, high humidity, all the crops are dying, the grass is far from green as possible, the very air is on fire, everyone is fed up … but I won’t complain. I refuse to complain. Hey, at least it’s not winter.
When we get sixteen feet of snow in six months, I’m blaming everyone who complained this week.
Really, I don’t mind the heat. Obviously, I’d prefer if it weren’t a million degrees outside. Normal weather would be nice, but I don’t mind the heat. I can deal with it, I can work around it. I know what to do, how to fight through the heat.
The problem is that the heat fights back, and today, despite all my best efforts, the heat beat me. It beat me badly. Continue reading →
Ah, the weather. It is the ultimate conversation tool. Meet someone knew? You’ll exchange names and pleasantries and then, 80% of the time, say, “So, how about that weather?” It’s super safe. Opening a conversation with a stranger about religion or politics or even sports can be contentious, but not the weather. Nobody objects when you talk about sunny skies.
I find this somewhat amusing, simply because we are such inconsistent creatures. I had a conversation with a co-worker the other day, and we of course talked about the weather. “Figures,” he said, glancing with disgust at the projected forecast. “We’re going to get bad weather just as the weekend starts.” It’s true. We’re supposed to get rain and thunderstorms all day Saturday and Sunday.
Notice the word he used, though. ‘Bad’ weather. He called rain bad … even when all of our lawns look like this:
It feels like the Savannah. I’m expecting a lioness to spring out at any moment.
My region has recently been hit with a heatwave. It’s been hot to very hot every day for about a week, plus it’s been a very warm summer so far. I walked outside to check the mail and nearly got heatstroke. Sweat falls in buckets even when you stay in the shade. Ice cream is the nectar of the Gods, though you have about two minutes to eat it before it turns into a milkshake.
That won’t be a problem.
I’ve heard countless people say it’s too hot. They complain every time they have to brave the outdoors, away from their air-conditioned palaces. They actively want it to be colder. They wish it were colder. Not me. You’ll never hear me say that. The spit inside my mouth could be boiling, the oceans could evaporate, the atmosphere itself could ignite and I’d still be okay with it.
I’ve been having a terrible week, and I didn’t know why. Everything I touched turned to ash, and I had absolutely no energy. I didn’t know what was going on. It was just one big failure after another. What was wrong with me?
It appears to be excessive arrows pointing downwards.
I thought I was doing everything right. I was eating healthy, sleeping lots, spending time outside in the beautiful if humid weather. For the previous two weeks I was seeing gains in everything I did, but now it was crashing down. What was wrong? What had changed? How can I change this?
I was legitimately worried, but it turns out everything’s okay. I’m just sick! Continue reading →
I hate winter. I think I’ve established that by now. I also thought it was over. We’re in April now, spring should have officially started, and for a few days that’s exactly what it looked like. It rained every day, but that’s okay, because we all now April showers bring May flowers. Except this week it snowed. A lot. As in, we have more snow now than we had on Christmas. Just shoot me now. Why won’t winter end?
April flurries bring my fury?
I might need to explain the above caption. If you’re not from a snow-riddled place like Canada, you may have never heard of ‘flurries’ before. No, I’m not talking about that ice-cream product from McDonald’s. A flurry is a snowstorm, bigger than regular snow but not as big as a blizzard. We’ve had flurries so for in April. Plural. And with it the associated drop in temperature, and this triggered something I didn’t think would happen again this year.
Snow Day! Two of the best words ever in the history of the English language. If you don’t live in a Northern climate, you’ve perhaps never heard of or experienced one of these before, in which case you have my sympathy. You’re really missing out.
This images captures it all.
In brief, sometimes it snows, and sometimes it really freakin’ snows. If it snows so much that road conditions deteriorate, schools and businesses start to close for the day. It’s basically an unexpected day off, which, as you can imagine, is awesome. True, if you need to go somewhere or do something, this becomes a huge pain in the ass, but if you’re just having an average day, as most days happen to be, you get a free holiday.
Actually, maybe this image captures it all. This makes it seem far more bleak, though.
For the first week or so, February has been awesome. I base this almost completely on the weather. I mean, how else would you judge a month’s awesomeness? The first three days had an incredibly warm streak, with temperatures well above seasonal. Over the next week, virtually all the snow melted, the sun seemed to shine brighter, days were longer, a pleasant breeze rolled over the hills. You couldn’t craft a better mid-winter week…
I woke up to this. Well, not this this, but similar.
… and then the earth remembered that it was February, the worst month, and things went back to the gutter. Continue reading →
I’m a pretty cool guy. It takes a lot to rattle me. I can’t remember the last time I was angry, at least for non-videogame reasons. In general I’m happy-go-lucky, always with a smile on my face, quick to make a joke or witticism in just about any situation. I mean, it’s better to be happy than sad, so I try to be as happy as I can as often as I can.
This picture is cute, but I can’t stop wondering why two left hands and two right hands are right next to each other.
People can discuss politics or religion or abortion or anything, it doesn’t get to me. I don’t get riled up, even with those who fervently disagree with me. I’ve been involved in intense situations, from accidents to emergency rooms to public presentations, and none of these phase me, not really. Wasn’t always fun, but I survived.
It appears winter has finally arrived …. again. Maybe. It’s hard to say. Back in November we had a huge dumping of snow, but then I got quite warm and it all melted, to the point we actually had a green Christmas. About a week ago it snowed again, this time sticking around. Snowbanks and snow forts and even some snowmen dot the fields and driveways of my city, and with it has come extreme cold. Yes, it truly feels like winter … and yet the forecast calls for more warm weather this weekend, including the chance of rain. Not snow, rain.
It’s been a long time, but finally we got the first snowstorm of this winter. This is quite late for Ontario. We often have the first one in December, sometimes as early as November. I remember one year in which we had three snow days in a row: the temperature hovered just around freezing, meaning the snow on the roads would melt and then freeze again, essentially becoming a skating rink. The plows and the salt did nothing because it just kept snowing, and that snow became more ice, etc. etc. As a kid, that meant three days of no school, which was obviously awesome.
For literally anything else, a snowstorm is much less awesome.
This year we have had some cold snaps, but not much in the way of snow. Indeed, this weekend I actually saw the grass, that’s how little snow we had. That seems like a distant memory now. The snow has piled up at least a foot outside, and more keeps blowing in. It wasn’t a pleasant walk home tonight, let me tell you that. The wind bit my face and snow lashed at my eyes. Snow storms are not fun, but they do have a superpower. Most people don’t realize this, that I think I have figured it out.
You see, the first snowstorm of the year gives people amnesia. They forget how to drive. It’s the only logical explanation for everything I’ve seen, both today and in years past. Continue reading →