I don’t complain about how hot it gets. Yes, it’s been a heatwave for the last forever, with the temperatures in the high 30s, high humidity, all the crops are dying, the grass is far from green as possible, the very air is on fire, everyone is fed up … but I won’t complain. I refuse to complain. Hey, at least it’s not winter.
When we get sixteen feet of snow in six months, I’m blaming everyone who complained this week.
Really, I don’t mind the heat. Obviously, I’d prefer if it weren’t a million degrees outside. Normal weather would be nice, but I don’t mind the heat. I can deal with it, I can work around it. I know what to do, how to fight through the heat.
The problem is that the heat fights back, and today, despite all my best efforts, the heat beat me. It beat me badly. Continue reading →
Ah, the weather. It is the ultimate conversation tool. Meet someone knew? You’ll exchange names and pleasantries and then, 80% of the time, say, “So, how about that weather?” It’s super safe. Opening a conversation with a stranger about religion or politics or even sports can be contentious, but not the weather. Nobody objects when you talk about sunny skies.
I find this somewhat amusing, simply because we are such inconsistent creatures. I had a conversation with a co-worker the other day, and we of course talked about the weather. “Figures,” he said, glancing with disgust at the projected forecast. “We’re going to get bad weather just as the weekend starts.” It’s true. We’re supposed to get rain and thunderstorms all day Saturday and Sunday.
Notice the word he used, though. ‘Bad’ weather. He called rain bad … even when all of our lawns look like this:
It feels like the Savannah. I’m expecting a lioness to spring out at any moment.
My region has recently been hit with a heatwave. It’s been hot to very hot every day for about a week, plus it’s been a very warm summer so far. I walked outside to check the mail and nearly got heatstroke. Sweat falls in buckets even when you stay in the shade. Ice cream is the nectar of the Gods, though you have about two minutes to eat it before it turns into a milkshake.
That won’t be a problem.
I’ve heard countless people say it’s too hot. They complain every time they have to brave the outdoors, away from their air-conditioned palaces. They actively want it to be colder. They wish it were colder. Not me. You’ll never hear me say that. The spit inside my mouth could be boiling, the oceans could evaporate, the atmosphere itself could ignite and I’d still be okay with it.
It’s been really hot for the last … I don’t even know how long. It feels like forever. Not that I’m complaining, mind you, because I 100% prefer this to winter, but it’s been a trying time. High heat, higher humidity, and to top it off my air conditioning doesn’t work.
Even worse, I’m apparently made of wax.
Well, that’s not completely true. Let’s say it doesn’t work well. It provides some cooling, but it takes approximately forever, and it works best when no one is home. When I come home, the house is nice and cool, but it gets less cool the more I move about. Evidently my bodyheat is enough to mess with the AC. Maybe I should get that looked at.
In the meantime, though, I’m sitting here, in my chair, sweat rolling off every part of my body, hugging the air vents, licking ice cubes, wearing as little clothing as I dare … there has to be a better way. And then I realized there was, the humble fan. Continue reading →
February 14. It’s synonymous with love, flowers and chocolates in the shape of hearts. King Henry VIII first made this a holiday back in the 1500s, and though it’s not technically a day off for most people, it’s something we still celebrate 500 years later … even if I don’t know know why.
I imagine anyone beyond Grade 8 has heard the history before. There were three Saint Valentines in early history, and all three were martyred. None were particularly romantic, but nonetheless we celebrate the day as if they were. It doesn’t make much sense, and the cynical part of me calls this nothing more than a Hallmark Holiday, something kept alive by flower shops, gift card companies and chocolatiers.
Seriously, do we really need a 400% markup on chocolates for this day alone?
The one positive is that by Feb 15 this very same chocolate will be half-off.
Sometimes you pause to reflect on how you ever lived without a certain item or gadget. For example, most people have a cell phone in their pocket virtually everywhere they go. If you get lost you can bring up a map or you can call someone or post a funny picture online stating how your boyfriend refuses to ask for directions. They can do just about anything and dominate so much of our lives. They’ve become so powerful and ubiquitous it’s amazing to think how we ever lived without them … and 10 years ago they did not even exist.
Fun fact: I’ve never owned a phone and never plan to own one.
This reflection can also work in the other direction. I imagine most college and university students can relate to the following. You go off to school and have to cook for yourself. That cooking often involves ordering pizza or take-out. You eat and eat, rarely a vegetable or salad crossing your plate. Then one weekend, perhaps a holiday, you visit home and get a home cooked meal. Oh my goodness, where has this been? For me, it wasn’t just having a healthy and tasty meal, it was the fact I didn’t have to do it. I dislike cooking, and having a meal made for me is pretty close to my private heaven. It being delicious was just the icing on the cake. How did I go so long at university without a home cooked meal? Continue reading →
The hottest week of the year continues for Southern Ontario. Every day has been above 30C, but more importantly the humidity has been through the roof. Some days feel closer to 40C, even in the shade. Things have crawled to a standstill. People walk slower, talk slower, do everything slower. It’s truly debliterating.
Suggestions to add to the top: obscene, fusion, Proof of Global Warming
That said, I have promised never to complain about the weather. Nope, not in Canada. In six months time it will be winter (ugh) and likely -30C with piles of snow as far as the eye can see, which won’t be very far because snowbanks will be in the way. In January, +30C will seem like heaven. I actually have a theory that the weather obeys our wishes, but it has a six month delay. So we spend all winter wishing it were hotter, and six months later the weather grants our wish … and then we lament the heatwave and wish it were colder, and the cycle repeats itself forever. Continue reading →
There is nothing easier to make than an excuse. If you ever don’t want to do something, you can find millions of reasons to not do that thing. They multiply like rabbits. Most people have multiple excuses. The traffic was bad, the baby was sick, the weather was rainy, I had a poor sleep, I’m tired, I didn’t eat much, I don’t feel like it. Once you have enough excuses, they win by sheer weight.
As a martial arts instructor, I see this all the time. Specifically, this week. We’ve had the first heat wave of the summer recently, and that has lowered attendance almost by half. People go through the day, working and playing in +30C weather, not to mention rampant humidity, and they use all their energy up. By the time evening rolls around, they have nothing left for karate.